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May 27 Pointless.I laugh at naked pillow's and not at Avee's jokes.
Shrija seems happy that hers is smaller.
I've read P&P a few zillon times and I STILL read it over and over again.
I like the guy who plays Murtagh in Eragon, but I don't like Eragon.
I think Saphira is HOT.
Varun thinks I'm mad.
Neriv ain't replying or picking up his damn phone(s)!
I enjoy reading Mag Cabot.
I hate french.
I like my new belts.
Why is the book called "Every Boy Has Got One", why can't it be.. "Every boy has got two"?!
Everyone is stealing TJ's wallpaper.
Stop naming inanimate objects just c'cause *I* do it.
No one's ever online anymore.
I like Avril lavigne. Always WILL.
I only watch Smallville 'cause I think Tom Welling's HOT!
I'm losing my non-existant mind.
The OC is over, for good! *wails*
I'llmiss Seth, Ryan, Taylor, Summer, Julie, Catlin, Frank, The Bullent, Sandy And Kirsten SO much, my heart ache's.
So long, old friend.
You're the only one who cpould make me feel happy even at the most depressing of times, I will NEVER forget you, and I'll ALWAYS love you. ALWAYS.
..My point being?
Nope, I don't have one.
It's POINTLESS!
Deal. With. It.
May 16 For Sale.No matter how happy a person maybe on the outside, there is NO way of telling if they're as happy as they seem on the inside.
Take me, for example.
I can be happy, in a second. I'd probably be depressed one minute and hyper the next.
No matter what I do though, no matter how happy and content I may seem on the outside, there's this empty space inside of me.
Now, I do everything I can possibly do so that no one notices that. I take special care when I'm around my friend to be extra cheerful, but sometimes, it just gets the better of me.
Not when I'm among my friends, which is a good thing, really.
It's just.. when I'm alone, and just sit in my room, thinking.. just thinking.. that's when it hits me. Bang in the middle.
And, so, as I was saying, that empty space is for sale.
I can't deal with it anymore. I've had enough.
I'm sick of feeling dead and sad, there really ain't no need for it.
I'm perfectly fine, or so, I keep telling myself.
Anyway..
I just decided to blog about this 'cause I felt like getting my point across.
Never judge a book by it's cover.
Cheesy, I know, but true. May 08 F.R.I.E.N.D.S. For real?My life seems to be like the TV show.
Ross - Viren, they both have equally bad hair and bad sense of humours, but they're both equally good friends. = )
Rachel - Swati, she's the same tantrum throwing spoilt brat, who I lou.
Chandler - Varun! He's goofy, and funny.. and it's a blast being around him.. and his fake british accent. = P
Monica - Sneha.. she's new to the group, but hell, she's awesome!
Pheobe - Adeeba! As weird as ever!
So, it goes like this.. Viren and Swati, Varun and Sneha couples. (Varun and Sneha as of 2 minutes ago, when Sneha finally said Yes, You're welcome, Varun!)
Adeeba's with Avinash just like Pheobe and Mike.
So, we have Varun - Sneha like Chandler and Monica.
And, Viren and Swati like Ross and Rachel.
The odd one out, is ME.
But, I AM NOT going to associate myself with Joey, 'cause I'm single, like him but I'm not dumb, nor do I sleep with a different guy each night. Ugh.
Anyway, now, I must say, I don't like being in Joey's place. I'll be moving away just like him.. but, I am NOT going to end up like him. RIGHT?!
(Some positive words would help). *sigh*
This is freaky and stupid and scary, err, YAY!
Apart from that, I crashed into a wall! Yiippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Swati was tryint to teach me to ride her bike, but err, I umm.. pressed the accelerator instead of the break and banged into a wall, but, it's all cool!
I'm perfect! Actually, I've never had as much fun in my lie so far!
YAY! Thankoo, Swatha!
To crashing like that MORE often!
Cheers! May 02 Dearest Bruce.Okay, Shrija. I'm giving this a sot ony 'cause YOU suggested it, and, I happen to trust you, a lot.
So.. err, DEAREST GOD.
I know I've have always and have been questioning your existance, but I'm going to give the talking t'you cra- I mean thing a shot. =)
My life seems to be getting worse by the day. Wait, and complicated, VERY complicated.
One day, a guy asks me out, the next day, he says he was joking.
A few days later, his friend asks me out, and, when I say NO, he says that he was joking too.
*Sigh*
Are boys always this irritating?!
(Keep in mind, I'd like to believe your female it helps, or wait, if you're male, can you enlighten me on your species?)
Then, there was the eyes meeting across the room thing, which I've gotten over, 'cause he might've been a creepy stalker for all I know.
But, it still bugs me sometimes, but, yeah.. whatever.
The HOT chinki dude who was flirting with me, WHY coudn't I just flirt back?! What is wrong with me?! Seriously?
Aren't ALL girls supposed to be able to flutter their eye lashes and flirt away with guys?
Why can't I flutter my eye lashes without some asking me.. "Have you got something in your eye, you seem to be blinking a lot!".
Why aren't *I* female enough? Even though Arjun said I was very girlie today, I KNOW it was only to piss Swati off 'cause she consideres herself the LADY of the group.
But, really, I'm sick of the "It's your personality that attracts those guys" cra-damnit!
Most guys're intimidated by me?! BY ME?! 5-foot-nothing me! I can't even look at a freggin' spider, for goodness sake, and boys're intimidated by ME?!
I'm am SO sick of being a guys "buddy", I AM FEMALE, DAMN IT! And that it NOT so hard to believe!
Why am I such a walking disaster?! I keep walking into walls! *Grumbles*
Why won't me parents get me a 2-wheeler, when so many people drive that damned thing, *I* am not going to die!
+ Just 'cause I'm an only child I don't get whatever I want, okay?! I would appreciate if you get that into people's skull's. WHAT IS THEIR PROBLEM?!
If I'm the only kid, good or bad for me! Why do they keep ranting on and on about how my life is better.
EVERYthing has it's good and bad sides. And there IS NOT point comparing the two worlds. WHEN WILL PEOPLE GET THAT INTO THEIR HEADS?!
We should OT try to want someone else's life, maybe complian about our own, but NOT keep talling the other person 'bout how sick our lives are, there is no point, each person has problems of their own.
Which is why, I'm talking t'you. Even though I know you pro'lly have billions of people complaining t'you, I'm jus another insignificant speck.
But, considering you're all mighty and all, it's all good, right?
Y'know, that frustrates me the most, and it's annoying me!
After ALL of this, I have to deal with my Bella not being here for me, I'm everybody's agony aunt, but the ONLY person who was there for me is frying in Baroda with th-that BOY! Argh!
Why are boys always either the source of happiness or misery in OUR lives?
Seriously, God, dude, Save Me. Help Me.
And, you know what?
It felt good to get this off my chest, I feel so much better now. Thank you. =)
P.S. Thank you for my Parents, I'd go INSANE without them. And some of my friends, they help too! Thank you!
April 28 What IF?He saw her. Her chirpy nature, her smile.
She saw him. His shy nature, his smile.
Both of them looked at eachother for over a minute. Stunned. They knew eachother, yet, they just couldn't nail it. Or was it some connection?
They kept looking at the other, eye contact established, niether willing to break the eye contact.. looking, wondering, hoping for the other to come and introduce themself.
There was a connection there.
One they both felt, yet they didn't act on that impulse.
She left.
They might never see eachother again. But, there was.. SOMEthing.
They might see eachother again, but will they have the courage to talk this time?
Or, will it be too late?
They might never know..
What IF she had made the first move, or he?
Would it have been worth it, or just creepy?
What IF?
Sometime I wish human beings just plucked up some courage and shut their mind up.. so that they could listen to what the heart says.
I just wish.
April 24 Obsessions.I'm obsessed with the Twilight Series.
Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Jacob, Charlie, Emmett, Rosaline, Esme, Carlisle, Billy, Embry, Sam, Emily, Leah, Seth.. Oh! For goodness sake, MAKE ME STOP!
I can't read those books over and over again, I know them by heart, for Pete's SAKE!
Stop this obsession, it's unhealthy! Vampire's and Wareolves don't exist, thet don't, they don't, they DON'T! Or, maybe.. they do? Just like the Magical World?
DO SOMETHING!
P.S. I got this really cute designer skirt and this amazing dress that I'm getting in May, I like the clothes in Hyderabad, I do, I dddoo!
April 13 Love Actually.They say.. a picture speaks a thousand words..
Well, here is the proof of that. =)
I Love my friends.
TO Isabella and Alessandra,
Y'all showed us that there isn't any difference between an Indian teenager and an Italian one.
We learnt from each other and shared many fun times together, but, soon, y'all will be going..
I just want y'all to remember these Indian boys and Girls, who love you so much. =)
'Cause, Y'know.. You're leaving on a Jetplane. We don't know when y'all will be back again..
But..
We need you, and we'll miss you..
And, we WILL fly a thousand miles just to see y'all.
And, we can NEVER forget you.
We <3 You.
April 09 Dark Blue, Dark Blue..Ever felt all alone in a crowded room?
Well, I did.. and it sucks.
It sucks to the highest point of suckiness.
It's almost as bad as having your eye balls ripped outta' their sockets while watching Chelsea lose to ManU.
No, worse.
Much, MUCH worse.
Goodbye. March 27 Close To NowhereEmotion
Have you ever read something and this sudden rush of emotion that you can't handle? It's like you can't breathe, your eyes water and you just feel like wailing into a pillow? EVERYtime I listen to Hey There Delilah, or open the "Hey There Delilah makes me wish I was Delilah" community page, It happens. Solution? I should stop listening to it? But, I can't. I love that song too much to let it go.
- Silence -
Theory
Okay, I skip that. I have a theory.
Is humour really spontaneous? Slap-Stick, might be. But, otherwise, is it, really?
When you're saying something emotional, you're talking with your emotion. Not brain. Not thinking. Just expressing what you feel. that doesn't require your brain.
On the other hand, when you're saying something funny? Aren't you thinking? You think about making the other person laugh? But you ultilize your brain cells and say something.
Hence, Comedy not that on the spot, eh?
Update
Number of exams: 8
Number finished: 7
Subject left: History.
That subject of bleeding killing mmmeee! HELP!
Question
What did he really mean? What could have happened to envoke such an extreme reaction?!
WHY?!
WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT?! How am I involved?
Suprise
HE ACTually said sorry.
Another "He". He's funny. I've always thought him to be stupid, but he's funny.
If he's funny, he can't be stupid.
I must stop thinking about him. NOW.
Love
Not giving it another chance.
School
Last year. Gee.
What to do? Where to go?
Friends
Fight. fight. fight.
Not talking to that couple, doesn't mean I'm alone.
I have numerous friends, don't I? I don't need them, do I?
Missing
Dad. He's in another continent! I can't even call him! I miss my over-grown baby teddy. I love my daddy.
Avee. Where are you when I need you the most?!
Mom. Always at work. Never with me.
Shrutilaya
Sad. Lonely. Confused. Dazed. Vexed. Suprised.
Cannot belive Swati said that about me.
Cannot belive I'm always the one suffering.
Missing Mom, dad and Avee.
*sniff*
Song: Near To You - A Fine Frenzy
Right Now
Can't think of the good times! Too many bad time. Just. Too. Many.
March 20 Bu-but.. where did all the time go?"This time, next year you will be in their place, YOU will be "Appearing" for YOUR 12th board Examnination. That exam will determine your future. All your dreams, hopes and wishes depend on it. It all comes down to that piece of paper that will tell you IF you're good enough. THAT piece of paper will make all the difference in the world. That pience of Paper will determine what you become. I know many of you with a lot of money will buy your way into institutions, but, remember, you cannot buy your way through life. A select few talented ones, just that handful, will succeed, and we will be proud to have known, taught and guided you. It's here. Once these exams are over, you will begin with the 12th. The last year of your schooling. The last year of being a child. Do not waste it, instead, prove to yourself and the world what YOU are made of, show them how much you are worth. And for that, I wish you all The Best."
Hold on! Where.. what? HOW?! Bu-but.. where did all the time go?
Yesterday, I said goodbye to Good Shepherd. I walked through that large beautiful campus one last time as a student.
Only a few days before yesterday, I was an introvert.
Yesterday, I joined Lady Andal.
Only yesterday, did I make all these amazing friends, have so much fun, go through an Orca, founders day and my first ever camp.
Yesterday.. I will still young.
Today, however, I am not. I am sixteen. Not a girl, not a woman, but I must soon be getting ready to take on the world.
The year I've been dreading/waiting for all my life, is almost here.
A few more days, and I will belong to the 12th grade. The Senior most grade in any school.
I will soon be spending my last year in school, and I'm still not ready for it.
After that, I'll be applying for college. NID. The National Institute Of Design. One of the ONLY Indian Design Institutes recognized worldwide. They take 15 people for the entire country. FIFTEEN.
This is all happening too fast!
The 11th is over, the 12th is beggining.. Isi and Ale are leaving. I have one year left, with my friends. I just one year of freedom left. Just. One. Year.
In this rush, I wonder, where did all the time go?
Wasn't I just a kid yesterday?
How am I going to leave school this time, next year?
"When the going gets tough, the tough get going".
So, am I supposed to get going?
Hard work, Determination.. it'll get me there.. It will.
But, in all this confusion and fear..
I ask myself again and again..
..Where did ALL the time go?!
March 11 Sweet.. *WAIT!* Sorrow-Filled Sixteen!Sweet, Sweet, SWEET sixteen, indeed.
After reading my friend's blog yesterday.. I started thinking, she's got a valid point there, y'know?
The closer I got to being Sixteen, the more complicated my life got, and now, that I AM sixteen, I sometimes feel like I'm living in my own version of Hell On Earth.
I'm barely passing french.. I'm now used to getting only 75-85 in English, the only subject I ever did amazingly well in. I'm practically failing history. School's just so exam filled, even THAT's not fun anymore. My freinds're so caught up in their own *couple* problems. The only person whose there for me, is Adeeba. Both o'us're going through similar situations, can I say? Atleast we understand eachother.
My love life is NON-existant. Sweet Sixteen, the age you fall in loovvee! *snorts*. Been there, done that.
Okay, yes, ALMOST non-existant.. unless you consider this guy who *apparently* likes me. Yeah, yeah.. and I'm next in line for the Throne of Euthopia. *Groans*
All my favorite show's are back. (You'd pro'lly think it's a good thing, but NO! My common exams've started!)
Only show that's yet to start is One Tree Hill. I've been having this horrid stomach pain offlate. It's this sudden pang of pain that hurts so bad. I can barely breathe. I happens every few hours and it's KILLING ME!
The guys in tution're finally getting t'me. I think one day, I'll probably end up stuffing a dirty sock in their mouths.
The last time I'll probably see Isabella is a month earlier than expected.. April 20th! *wails*
I'll just have one month of holiday this summer.
I am SO confused about which Institute to pick, it's making me nervous! NID, NIFT or Pearl?!
Sometimes, I wonder WHY I chose Arts, I should've gone with boring ol' Commerce like the rest. I was supposedly good at it, but NO! Stupid History!
My french text book is lying open, in front of me, and I'm not bothered enough to study, even though I have my French Paper II Common Exam today. Heh.
I end up spending maximum amount of my time online, ONLY during my exams!
We don't a holiday to study geography. *cries*
Yes, yes.. I know what you're thinking..
When Shruti blogs, she complains.
Well, that's me for you.
Joy t'y'all!
P.S. Try NOT to turn 16, evvveeeerrrr!
Ciao!
March 02 Waiting..I don't have a book to read, allright? It's been MORE than 3 months since i've been in this state. The past three months, I've been reading one book after the other, it's like an addiction, I can't STOP myself!
Do you realize HOW pathetic I feel?! I cannot surive without a book!
Here's my comment on Ki's blog.
My bwest friend. Yes, those pages make me feel safe, like some stupid monster's coming to get me. It's probably going to take one look at me, scream and run away, yelling! I am so pathetic, I probably make Brittany Spears feel better about herself. I should really stop, y'know? Hiding from my problems, that is.. I keep giving people advice telling them that they can't hide from their issues, but I can't take my own advice. I really can't! I cannot stand tall, okay, fine, stand short, 'cause I AM Short. Yes, what was I saying? Oh yeah, I know it's the right thing to do, stand tall/short and face those issueswith my head help high and dignity intact. No one understands me anymore.. I don't have anyone to tell me that it'll all be okay, someday.. No one.. Until that day comes, I'll wait. I will. I don't know who or what I'm waiting for, but I am. Until that someone who can help me face those problems, who can keep me from running away comes along.. I'll wait. With lot's of hope and wishes.. February 29 Conversations.The Optimistic Pessimist says: No, you're fine.The Optimistic Pessimist says: (Maybe. :::)The Optimistic Pessimist says: I'm fine.The Optimistic Pessimist says: (Sure. :::)The Optimistic Pessimist says: I've been possessed. :|The Optimistic Pessimist says: (You bet you have! :::)The Optimistic Pessimist says: Cut out the ":::" Will ya?The Optimistic Pessimist says: (Oh shut up. ":::")The Optimistic Pessimist says: I'm fighting with myself. :|The Optimistic Pessimist says: (No, you're losing a fight against your better half. Oh, and ---> ":::"_In this case ":::" happens to be this evil-devil-face. Yes, people. This is my family and I'm proud of them. Even though Avee scares me sometimes.
Swutz says: Swutz says: Swutz says: The Optimistic Pessimist says: Swutz says: Swutz says: The Optimistic Pessimist says: Swutz says: Swutz says: Swutz says: The Optimistic Pessimist says: I have NO clue why I'm doing this, I just felt like, so ENJJOOOYY! = P February 22 Not Too Happy?Have you ever had this problem when you;ve REALLY needed to pee, but couldn't? Well, I had that issue today. I had to go for an ultrasound (I mentioned that i was having a few "system" issues in a few blogs earlier).. And, it's supposed to be done on a full bladder, hence I did not pee the entire day, from 7:30 to 5.
And the suckies of things, my bladder STILL wasn't full! YESH!
And, you know what? I began crying at the doctor's. I feel so pathetic now. But I just broke-down. COMPLETELY. At one point of time, I'm sure I saw her edge away from me. I just couldn't help it. It's all too much for me!
The past week, I've lost 2 kgs. I want to become skinny. I basically starved myself. Barely ate anything and whatever I ate, I vomited. Grotesque, I know.
I'm just sick of seeing every "average built" girl become skinny and I, stay the same. I am so sick of it!
Thankfully, though.. I'm not bulimic. My mother thought that I was bulimic.. Yay? The doctor on the other hand says that it's because I've been working myself up so much over this thing that I couldn't handle it. I still can't.
I don't want to be UGLY! I want to be considered pwetty ttooo! = (
I sound SO immature and I feel so stupid, but I'm going crazy with this, completely mad!
I don't think I'm going to be able to eat for a long time to come.. even if I try..
Help me.
February 21 Romantic Thoughts From A Forgotten Romantic!Today, I'm in a very romantic mood.
I just got off the phone with Swati. She was telling me about Viren carrying her all the way from his room to the entrance of his house 'cause she was too lazy to walk. Now, THAT is romantic, people. Truly romantic. = )
I was just thinking back.. three months ago, I didn't handle the break0up very well. I just belived the happily ever after SO MUCH, that I couldn't stop myself from thinking that my world was coming to an end.. and it did, for about 2 months.
When I look back now, I feel really stupid for being like that.. I feel, well.. I really belived I was living a fairy tale that ended. It ended badly.
I rubbished all the happy memories that I had just because it seemed VERY unreal at the time.
But now, it seems so.. nice, sweet, happy.
Those truly were the happiest six months of my life, and the closest I could get to my very own fairy tale.. And it still is. Tjos six months were and ARE the closest i've ever gotten to my own fairy tale.
And, I'll tell you one other thing.. I couldn't have found a better Prince for my short-lived-fairy-tale. 'Cause it might be weird between Tom and I now, maybe I'm to blame.. 'cause I blamed him too much.
But, yeah.. he was the perfect Prince Charming. = )
Right now, I'm listening to this playlist of love songs I'd made agggees ago.. it basically had all the songs that made me feel all romantic, for the past three months.. That playlist was left untouched, but today.. it just seems so romantic, all over again.
I keep thinking of happy times, those trips to Bangalore.. Hey There Delilah.. And I'm just happy..
I was so lucky. I truly did find love. And, I'm not going to doubt that anymore. = )
Those were the best six months of my life, and I was truly happy.
I've finally acknowledged that what my friends were telling me is true, I have changed.. and you know what? It's not for the better.
I'm going go back to being the ol'-romantic-softy.
The Not-Trusting-Anyone thing doesn't really work for me.. Yeesh. I'm ACTually going to be happy now, not act happy with that hprrid fake smile on my face, but I am going to BE happy! Like now.. and hopefully, forever and ever.
And, hopefully, one day.. I will make my own happily-ever-after! =D
I'm growing up. Mentally.
Now, as a grown-up, I want to make things right again.
Thomas, *if* you're reading this, I'm truly sorry.
I want to start all over again..
ALL over again..
I hope we can.
Update: P&P is back to being my favorite book. =)
Yay, Mr. Darcy's HOTNESS! =P
February 16 Just Another Brick In The WallOh well.. My life.. it's a pile of cold and hard poop.
I'm so bored..
I'm sick of studying!
I'm in the 11th, for heaven's sake! I need to STOP studying so much! =|
I've to deal with it, I've been studying too much, the past few months, studying and reading.
Well, it's not like I don't have a life or anything, I go out practically EVERYday! =) And, it's fun and all but.. I'm still studying way too much and way to hard, it's not normal for me to study so much, okay? I mean I'm studying way too much for a sixteen (Yus, SIXTEEEENNN, finally!) year ol'. Yesterday, was probably the most entertaining day of the week..
We had the SCAREWELL '08, which as you already figured was the Farewell for the 12th, with a Horrow theme. *Sigh* It was fun, but the after parrty was MUCH better. A bunch of us went to Casa Piccola, we had an awesome time. Yesterday taught me that Arjun and Booby're somewhat like an old married couple. I guess it happens ever-so-often between friends, when you know them so well, there's always this underlying understanding, which makes anyone on the outside feel left out.. 'cause they just know what the other's thinking..
I saw my friend cry. When *It's* Mom sent him this very sweet message.. It made me feel so warm inside, that I wanted to talk t'my mommy, whose in Delhi, freezing her ass off! *Love you Mamma! Miss you so very much!*
Yes, moving on.. right now, I'm supposed to be studying History, but I'm just so. sick. of. studying.
I'm in the 11th, isn't it bad enough that we have to write board exams in the 10th and 12th? but, NO! We have common exams in the 11th also! For which we get ONLY a Pass or Fail grade, which is the ONLY saving grace. But we have model exams ttooo!
These model exams are getting me so frustrated, I could destroy a small country with the anger I have pent up insdie me.
Apart from the *academic* point of view, I'm having guy issues.
Why?! WHY?! Isn't it bad enough that I'm a dreamer who loves to read? Aren't those distractions enough?!
Do I have to have "Other" issues, too?!
Yes, to top it all of, I need to visit a doctor, 'cause I'm having issues with my ssytems. I'll tell you what's wrong with me, because of all the studying and the stress my systems're getting confused and not doing what they're supposed to do on time, you really can't blame them! that doesn not mean I need a freggin' stranger sticking things down my throat and err.. such like. =\
Anyway, I have a few more days to go..
I don't want to go to a doctor for certain things, but I do for other reasons.. Like.. why have I been starving myself and why isn't anything changing, or.. WHY AREN'T EVER HUNGRY ANYMORE?!
Your talking 'bout the girl who loves to eat, now, I seem to be living on a slice of bread or two a day.. and probably some curd at dinner.
Nothing's right, at the moment.
So what? So what? I've got a smile on me..
The only thing I'm happy about is My Birthday resolution, which was to let the past, remain the past, I made peace with a lot of people I was fighting/ lost touch with. Including MANY of my friends From GS.
*Sigh* *Yawn*
Oh well, I really don't want to study, and right now, I don't give a damn, if I fail.
Goo' Night.
February 12 Missing me..*Obviously, you’ve gone through a very emotional period, sometime in the past 3 months that’s caused your body to react the way it has* ^ I cannot belive she said that. What’s wrong with that? It’s true, isn’t it? Well, kinda’, but.. I’m not that emotional person anymore, I’m back to being me. Just ME. No, your different. Most definitely are.. I miss the old Shruti. What the HELL’re y’all talking about?! I’m perfectly normal, amn’t I? No, your not.. I told you once before, I’ll tell you again, there’s sadness in your eyes. Oh, SHUT UP! This is no hindi movie! There is NO such thing. I’m my usual self, annoyingly hyper. No, your well, what’s the word I’m looking for? Cynical! It’s like you don’t belive in real life happy endings anymore. Well, I don’t. Shruti, you need to get out of the imaginary world in your head, I agree. Life is not one of the books you read, I’m the one who told you that, it doesn’t mean that happiness and such don’t exist either. Happiness does, I guess.. The other things don’t. It’s only books.. but WHAT is this about, ANYway?! You told me the other day, “Don’t think so far into the future, you guys’ll probably break up in another six months” Yeah, I said that, so? I meant it! The truth most definitely does hurt. Yes, but what happened to the girl who loved to dream? She’s standing right in front of you, trying to figure out what wrong with her friends and needs to pee! It’s not funny. I thought it was, y’all are being STUPID. WHY are you so cynical and so.. soo.. sad? I’m not sad! Fine, your not sad, your not Shrutilaya either. Yeah, I’m some stranger impersonating her, and APPARENTLY I’m doing a bad job of it. Sarcasm isn’t going to get you anywhere with this conversation. Oh, is that what this is? I thought y’all are holding an intervention, to send me to the looneybim, due to what was it? Err.. *sadness* in my eyes. Ridiculous! We’re just worried. You and *cough* :it: broke up a few months ago. How long will it take you to get over it?! I’m over it. You know that? It took me 9 weeks, but y’all know that I’m ME again. No, your not, that’s troubling us. Laya, I take back what I said, go back to your imaginary world, it makes you happy! Look, I know the difference between dreams and reality.. I just got carried away once, and I don’t want that to happen. You’re too young to be so cynical and stupid. I am not stupid. I’m a lot of things, stupid isn’t one of them. So what? I do not want the November episode to happen again! So, I’m doing whatever it takes to stop that from happening. I’ll probably end up an old miserable lady, with 18 dogs in a one bedroom apartment. So? Shrutilaya, my friend, the girl with her heads in the clouds, yet grounded, what’s happening to you? Nothing. I just learnt a lesson, that’s all. Your just saying that now, that right person for you will come along one day and if your never going to let that person in, you’ll lose him. First things first, you need to read more books, IF we’re meant to be, we’ll get past everything. And second, that “One person out there for everyone” theory is just bull shit. If it were true, Gorgeous George Cluny wouldn’t be single. Listen to us, think about it. Please? Okay..
Every word of it was so true. I don’t know what to do.. I hope everything sorts itself out like always. But for now, I wish. ..that conversation never happened.
*wishes*
February 10 Sweet Sixteen!If y'all're interested in reading about my Sweet Sixteen party..
You can go here..
That is, IF you care enough to read..
I cannot to arsed to repeat the entire thing here.. I'm too lazy!
Toodles and such! =P January 29 Note.She watches.
The guy she thinks she likes falling for her best friend, she watches as everyone she cares for, leaves her behind. She watches.
As her *brother*figure's almost being cheated on by her friend/ the love of his life. She watches, as those she trusts just break it.. over and over again.
She watches, as everyone chooses others over her, as all her friends use her when needed, and forget her otherwise.
She just watches, as she is forgotten.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
That's where she lies, broken inside. January 21 Not-So-Average.Life just seems to monotonous to be true.
EVERYday just goes by with no significance at all.
I wake up, go to school, read my book, get back go for french tution, get back home, come online, finish homework, watch TV, talk t'my friends and go to sleep.
Sad, I know. The life of a not-so-average teen seems to be becoming VERY average. That's an accurate term, that is, Average.
Take today, for example.
Number of arguements: 3, (If you don't like pink, that DOES NOT mean your not a girl, Rock music is the music that matters, WHY *I* don't ever give up in an arguement).
Number of Books Read/In Progress: 2.
Amount of studying: 1 hour, at french class.
Gossiping: 2 minutes, regarding some guys shirt.
Time Spent Reading: 2 hours, suprisingly, I didn't read today, Didn't read at all.
Canteen visits: None. I did not eat a thing today, yipeeeeeee!
Number of pictures taken: upteen. Isi bought her camera to school to take a few pictures of us and our classmates, 'cause she has only a few month left.
Time spent worrying about future: About 30 minutes.
Time spent dreaming: About 4 hours, maybe?
Time spent wasting time: The ENTIRE day.
Oh god, I am so boring.
I am doing NOTHING productive at all.
I just suck. I must be punished for being so insignificant.
I've *changed*. I don't belive that, but apparently, I have.
Misbah now seems to see "Sadness" in my eyes. She suggested that I eat an entire bar of chocolate. It *apparently* didn't work.
(Note ToSelf: MUST stop using the word "Apparently" so often, it'll stunt my language skills).
I really need to pull myself together, start doing something a little more productive.
In order to become more productive I must.
Yes, I MUST do this in order to do really well in my 11th Common Exams. Yes, I must. |
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