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March 27 Close To NowhereEmotion
Have you ever read something and this sudden rush of emotion that you can't handle? It's like you can't breathe, your eyes water and you just feel like wailing into a pillow? EVERYtime I listen to Hey There Delilah, or open the "Hey There Delilah makes me wish I was Delilah" community page, It happens. Solution? I should stop listening to it? But, I can't. I love that song too much to let it go.
- Silence -
Theory
Okay, I skip that. I have a theory.
Is humour really spontaneous? Slap-Stick, might be. But, otherwise, is it, really?
When you're saying something emotional, you're talking with your emotion. Not brain. Not thinking. Just expressing what you feel. that doesn't require your brain.
On the other hand, when you're saying something funny? Aren't you thinking? You think about making the other person laugh? But you ultilize your brain cells and say something.
Hence, Comedy not that on the spot, eh?
Update
Number of exams: 8
Number finished: 7
Subject left: History.
That subject of bleeding killing mmmeee! HELP!
Question
What did he really mean? What could have happened to envoke such an extreme reaction?!
WHY?!
WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT?! How am I involved?
Suprise
HE ACTually said sorry.
Another "He". He's funny. I've always thought him to be stupid, but he's funny.
If he's funny, he can't be stupid.
I must stop thinking about him. NOW.
Love
Not giving it another chance.
School
Last year. Gee.
What to do? Where to go?
Friends
Fight. fight. fight.
Not talking to that couple, doesn't mean I'm alone.
I have numerous friends, don't I? I don't need them, do I?
Missing
Dad. He's in another continent! I can't even call him! I miss my over-grown baby teddy. I love my daddy.
Avee. Where are you when I need you the most?!
Mom. Always at work. Never with me.
Shrutilaya
Sad. Lonely. Confused. Dazed. Vexed. Suprised.
Cannot belive Swati said that about me.
Cannot belive I'm always the one suffering.
Missing Mom, dad and Avee.
*sniff*
Song: Near To You - A Fine Frenzy
Right Now
Can't think of the good times! Too many bad time. Just. Too. Many.
March 20 Bu-but.. where did all the time go?"This time, next year you will be in their place, YOU will be "Appearing" for YOUR 12th board Examnination. That exam will determine your future. All your dreams, hopes and wishes depend on it. It all comes down to that piece of paper that will tell you IF you're good enough. THAT piece of paper will make all the difference in the world. That pience of Paper will determine what you become. I know many of you with a lot of money will buy your way into institutions, but, remember, you cannot buy your way through life. A select few talented ones, just that handful, will succeed, and we will be proud to have known, taught and guided you. It's here. Once these exams are over, you will begin with the 12th. The last year of your schooling. The last year of being a child. Do not waste it, instead, prove to yourself and the world what YOU are made of, show them how much you are worth. And for that, I wish you all The Best."
Hold on! Where.. what? HOW?! Bu-but.. where did all the time go?
Yesterday, I said goodbye to Good Shepherd. I walked through that large beautiful campus one last time as a student.
Only a few days before yesterday, I was an introvert.
Yesterday, I joined Lady Andal.
Only yesterday, did I make all these amazing friends, have so much fun, go through an Orca, founders day and my first ever camp.
Yesterday.. I will still young.
Today, however, I am not. I am sixteen. Not a girl, not a woman, but I must soon be getting ready to take on the world.
The year I've been dreading/waiting for all my life, is almost here.
A few more days, and I will belong to the 12th grade. The Senior most grade in any school.
I will soon be spending my last year in school, and I'm still not ready for it.
After that, I'll be applying for college. NID. The National Institute Of Design. One of the ONLY Indian Design Institutes recognized worldwide. They take 15 people for the entire country. FIFTEEN.
This is all happening too fast!
The 11th is over, the 12th is beggining.. Isi and Ale are leaving. I have one year left, with my friends. I just one year of freedom left. Just. One. Year.
In this rush, I wonder, where did all the time go?
Wasn't I just a kid yesterday?
How am I going to leave school this time, next year?
"When the going gets tough, the tough get going".
So, am I supposed to get going?
Hard work, Determination.. it'll get me there.. It will.
But, in all this confusion and fear..
I ask myself again and again..
..Where did ALL the time go?!
March 11 Sweet.. *WAIT!* Sorrow-Filled Sixteen!Sweet, Sweet, SWEET sixteen, indeed.
After reading my friend's blog yesterday.. I started thinking, she's got a valid point there, y'know?
The closer I got to being Sixteen, the more complicated my life got, and now, that I AM sixteen, I sometimes feel like I'm living in my own version of Hell On Earth.
I'm barely passing french.. I'm now used to getting only 75-85 in English, the only subject I ever did amazingly well in. I'm practically failing history. School's just so exam filled, even THAT's not fun anymore. My freinds're so caught up in their own *couple* problems. The only person whose there for me, is Adeeba. Both o'us're going through similar situations, can I say? Atleast we understand eachother.
My love life is NON-existant. Sweet Sixteen, the age you fall in loovvee! *snorts*. Been there, done that.
Okay, yes, ALMOST non-existant.. unless you consider this guy who *apparently* likes me. Yeah, yeah.. and I'm next in line for the Throne of Euthopia. *Groans*
All my favorite show's are back. (You'd pro'lly think it's a good thing, but NO! My common exams've started!)
Only show that's yet to start is One Tree Hill. I've been having this horrid stomach pain offlate. It's this sudden pang of pain that hurts so bad. I can barely breathe. I happens every few hours and it's KILLING ME!
The guys in tution're finally getting t'me. I think one day, I'll probably end up stuffing a dirty sock in their mouths.
The last time I'll probably see Isabella is a month earlier than expected.. April 20th! *wails*
I'll just have one month of holiday this summer.
I am SO confused about which Institute to pick, it's making me nervous! NID, NIFT or Pearl?!
Sometimes, I wonder WHY I chose Arts, I should've gone with boring ol' Commerce like the rest. I was supposedly good at it, but NO! Stupid History!
My french text book is lying open, in front of me, and I'm not bothered enough to study, even though I have my French Paper II Common Exam today. Heh.
I end up spending maximum amount of my time online, ONLY during my exams!
We don't a holiday to study geography. *cries*
Yes, yes.. I know what you're thinking..
When Shruti blogs, she complains.
Well, that's me for you.
Joy t'y'all!
P.S. Try NOT to turn 16, evvveeeerrrr!
Ciao!
March 02 Waiting..I don't have a book to read, allright? It's been MORE than 3 months since i've been in this state. The past three months, I've been reading one book after the other, it's like an addiction, I can't STOP myself!
Do you realize HOW pathetic I feel?! I cannot surive without a book!
Here's my comment on Ki's blog.
My bwest friend. Yes, those pages make me feel safe, like some stupid monster's coming to get me. It's probably going to take one look at me, scream and run away, yelling! I am so pathetic, I probably make Brittany Spears feel better about herself. I should really stop, y'know? Hiding from my problems, that is.. I keep giving people advice telling them that they can't hide from their issues, but I can't take my own advice. I really can't! I cannot stand tall, okay, fine, stand short, 'cause I AM Short. Yes, what was I saying? Oh yeah, I know it's the right thing to do, stand tall/short and face those issueswith my head help high and dignity intact. No one understands me anymore.. I don't have anyone to tell me that it'll all be okay, someday.. No one.. Until that day comes, I'll wait. I will. I don't know who or what I'm waiting for, but I am. Until that someone who can help me face those problems, who can keep me from running away comes along.. I'll wait. With lot's of hope and wishes.. |
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