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November 27 I miss yoouu!Love of mine,
Someday you will die..
But I'll be close behind, and foloow you into the dark..
Follow you whereEVER you go...
The pieces of my heart are missing you..
The face I came to know is missing too..
The words I need to here will always get me through the day, and make it okay.
I miss you.
I'm here without you baby,
and your on my lonely mind,
I think about you
and I dream about you all the time..
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry,
The days feel like years when I'm alone..
If I could fall, into the sky,
Do you think time would pass me by?
'Cause I'd walk a thousand miles just to see you.
Tonight.
When you walk away, I count the steps that you take.. Do you see how much I need you?
It's what you do to me
A thousand miles seem pretty far,
but they've gor tains and plains and cars..
And I'll walk to you if I have no other way..
Scream and shout, we tried to make it last..
but it didn't work out, I don't love you any less..
In these broken times, it's so easy to forget, so I sing to remind.. That upon my shoulder you can rest, 'cause I'll always give you my best.
'cause you know, you know, you know..
I love you..
I'll loved you all along,
I miss you..
November 26 Picking up the pieces.You give your life, your future, your past, you give ONE person the key to your state of mind..
It's so easy for them to just break you. And, you know what?!
No matter how much you want to belive that they won't, that your safe with them.. it's not true..
They just.. break your heart, break you.
My world has just fallen apart into a million different pieces. Pieces that cannot be put back together. We were supposed to last forEVER!
FOREVER!
He promised me, that, no matter what, we'll get through, we fought the distance, the lack of saeeing eachother.. EVERYthing.
But never did I even imagine that something like studying will part us.
You know, the feeling of having someone love you and care about you no matter who or what you are, the feeling that there is someone out there, who has your best interest at heart, someone who makes everyday worth living..
That someone just broke my heart and disappeard. Nothings ever going to be the same, we're never going to be the same with eachother again.
I just lost my best friend, the love of my life, and the only thing that made me feel like me, in a matter of a few minutes.
My friends asked me to get over him, move on..
How can you forget about someone you love? Just like that?!
Maybe it was easier for Tom, but it isn't for me..
I don't know how to get over you, personally I don't think it's possible.
You gave me six amazing months,
You gave me confidence, you made me lover myself, 'cause you loved me.
You made me feel special,
You made me feel loved..
You gave me the six best months o'm'life.
You gave me yourself.
To be all mine and be there for me, for those six months.
If your reading this..
I'll never forget those hugs and kisses, I'll never forget how you made me feel..
I just want you to know, I will ALWAYS remember you, 'cause you never forget your first love.
You'll always be a part of me and I will always love you. ALWAYS.
I hope your dream comes true, I really hope you get into CalTech or MIT or wherever you wanna' go, I hope all your dreams and hopes come true.
And, I wish you luck, in whatever you do and wherever you go.
All the luck in the world.
With love,
Sugar Ray Dah'lin princiwincess.
November 18 Wadrobe To-Malfunction.Yes, I did write an entire blog detaling how I was going to murder the tailor who ruined my career in Fashion.. but, it got lost.. How did you know?
The man single-handedly reuined whatever little hope I had left in my uncertain future.. *sniff*
He made one of my best creations look like a hooker's dress! he-he used the cheapestEST material, I mean.. we're ALL paying him 500 bucks, will it kill him to just get good material, all he has to do is stitch, I did everything else!
The dress just stands! How can someone do the Samba when the dress is literally standing?!
It looks horrid, I could have commited suicide. If not for my classmates, I would have killed the dude in my rage, not to mention had way more problems.
I had a panic attack and could not breathe, there were four people holding me and requesting/yelling at me to breathe.
HOW CAN YOU BREATHE WHEN SOME DUMB IDIOT IS RUINING YOUR FUTURE?!
EVERY bloody designer/house would laugh at me and throw me out, if they saw that.. that.. that.. piece of rat's shit. No, wait.. I BET rat's shit looks better.
I had to argue with him for about 15 minutes before he agreed to make the changes, which he said he'd do.
Now, IF the final outcome isn't good. I'll prepare to go to jail.
It doesn't fall! Why doesn't it fall? I asked the guy to use Shiffon, he said "Fall agadu, ma". Excuse me, but I'm pretty aware of what would fall well and what won't, and his tablecloth isn't doing the trick! After sometime, he said something about not having enough time, okay.. fine I calmed down, 'cause he was right.
ALl these dresses have to be ready by this Thursday.. and there are MANY dresses. MANY. It just comes to show, how much chaos ONE person can create.
Oh, the best part of almost killing myself and shouting and scring a poor *idiotic* tailor was, I loved it. Not the almost killing myself or the panic attack.. the shouting was fun.. but the fact that I knew what I was talking about, that it wasn't made-up mambo-jambo.. that it made sense to the tailor even (even though he's a fool.. *grumbles*). The feeling that a *professional* understands what I'm talking about. It's just, I knoew what I was talking about.
I was talking about the cut and the pattern and the fall, it makes me feel so happy.. I'm so excited! I love this.. Clothes, are my life.
And, I just proved to my teachers and my classmates that they are. Most of all, I cleared all the doubt I had in myself, I proved to myself, that I WILL make it.
It felt so nice, when someone said.. "You'll design ALL my clothes, no? Shruti?". ]
Even though that ejjit of a tailor is probably going to ruin my designs, atleast those designs were mine, all mine.
14 Samaba dresses, 14 Persian dresses and 12 Indian dresses.. ALL my very own.
My first ever *proper* project.
It somehow reminds me of project runway, you know.. with the bad material and all. Only, you know.. there's no reward in the end, I mean no cash and all that.. Just pride.
I'm going to have so much pride, and ego-boost even.
This chance, I would have never got in GS, after being there for 12 years, I was ALWAYS only the girl who can "Draw well", but they never actually gave me a chance.
Yickes, I'm getting all emotional now.. =|
November 14 Not the angels we think they are..Today is Childrens day, and every year in school, they have a carnival arranged by the 11th grade.. The profits that we make, usually go to charity.. =)
Since we're the present 11th grade, we wanted to make this years carnival the bestEST yet. We made a profit of about 10 grand.. all for charity.
Since I'm tad bit on the artistic side, my classmates put me incharge of making tattoo's, with paint.
Now, My friends KNOW that I'm scared of kids, but no, they didn't listen to me, instead, they give me a sidekick.. =P, who's supposed to help me out with 'em tatoo's.
The fist thing I told Chandana was.. "I hate kids, they scare me and usually cwy if I even talk to them, secondly, I suck at math, so you do the accounting and the talking to the kids, I'll make the tatoo's".
This plan should've worked.
Only, Chandana decided she wanted to make tatoo's too, let me handle the kids AND the money while she drew them.
Hence, she left poor li'l math-a-phobic and child-a-phobic me in in the dark, surrounded by little humans and lots of money, none which I had accounted for.
(Only saving grace, Nikhil decided to be my accountant, 'cause Sonali, his girlfriend, was selling stuff in the stall right near mine, Thanks Nik, I owe you BIG time)
Yes, where was I? Oh yes, so these little beings refuse to call me anything other than Aunty (Yes, that DID make me feel 30) and insisted on shoving their hands and other parts of their human form into my face for me draw tatto's.
The most common tatoo was a heart, whcih both boys and girls wanted, followed by the pwetty butterfwy.. and a few Chinese symbols.
These kids, there creepy, they were dirty, they duid not know how to wait, they pushed people around, they tried stealing my paints, they tried cheating me, they called me aunty.
Did I mention they don't smell too ggoood?
Oh, and they insited on tugging at my clothes, the VERY little one's in particular, thereby getting black paint all over my lemon yellow top..
Inbetween all this chaos and my hyperventilation, I had friends of mine like Arjun trying to distract me and making snide comments.. oh, and Sushanth's singing.. (It still gives me nightmares).
The good things 'bout Childrens day this year was the music, they played here Without you, You and Me, Far away and such like.
Leena, being the swwetheart she is, dedicated "Hey There Delilah" to mmmeee, Saying.. "hang in there".
If not for that, I might've run away from there, crying. =(
After today, I've decided.
*IF* at all I ever have kids, they're going to be highly polite and diciplined, if not..
I'm giving them away to charity untill their teenagers. Yes, I am.
And, NEVER CALL ME AUNTY!
I am a fiftenn year ol' who looks thirteen, if you EVER call me aunty, I swear, I will pull your hair out, like I did Viren's.. =) November 01 The inheirent need to sleep.I haven't blogged for a very long time.
Maybe it's 'cause I don't do much apart from sleeping and reading these days.
Or maybe, I didn't know what to blog about.
OR, I'm a sad, sad lazy being.
I've been so tired for no reason at all, offlate.
All I do in school is read my book or listen in class occasionally.
Speaking of books, I spent the last 5 days reading this series of books, about a vampire.
ACTually, its about a human girl and vampire who fall in love with each other. The second is about the girls best friend turning out to be a werewolf. The third book, she has to chhose between her best friend and boyfriend.. 'cause vampires and werewolves are natural enemies.
The whole werewolf concept insipired me. I did my English for Communication project on 'em facinating creatures. =)
Today, when I was in school, I read this book called.. "Love Story". (Yes, apparently, the only thing I do in school is read). It's about a poor girl and rich boy who fall in love, just after they graduate from college, they get married, a few years after, she dies of blood cancer.. =( Though the book was sad, it was sweet.
Books are my escape from the world. I *apparently* dream way too much and sometimes,I get a bit carried away with them and am left with the harsh reality that these dreams might NEVER come true. So, my alternative to dreaming and thinking.. something I always did.. but I'm obsessed with, now. READING.
I've always been such a dreamer. Ever since I was a kid, I would just dream and dream. Maybe, that's why I have this feeling of Deja Vu.. forver.
I have an over-active imagination, which can be both good and bad.
Talking about my dreams, reminds me, I haven't sketched or designed in a very long time. It pricks me, everytime I think of it.
Friends like Sumaya, and her obsession with perfecting her charecters.. for her comic.. show me how foccused she is. I wish I was like that. I only get these spurts of creativity, when I suddenly develop this urge to draw or sketch or write.
Because of that, My sketch books benn empty for the past few weeks now, my blog not updates and my school newspaper articles due. =|
I seem to spend most of my time doing nothing.
I am so behind on all my work, I don't know what's gotten into me, I just don't give a rats ass about anything anymore.
I haven't finihsed my notes in ANY subject.. I'm not paying attention in class. I keep saying that I'll start my french tution, but, I haven't. What is wrong with me?!
Bah, I don't know.. I don't even care anymore.
I need to sleep.
That's right.
It's MY Inheirent need to sleep.
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